The Little Physician

I have always ascribed to this quote, until today, 

My doctor retired, so I needed to establish a new primary. I picked a name off a list, knowing, by the name and by my own ability to stereotype and assess someone before I’ve even met them that she would be too young and green. Her first name is Kara. Her last name I won’t share because then we get into racial profiling. But I knew she was going to be too young, not speak maturely and clearly and probably not someone I would want to talk to about my old lady ailments.

I’d like to say I was wrong in my stereotyping, but I asked her to do bloodwork. Specifically on my liver values. She asked, “Why?” I answered, “Because I drink too much.”

She laughed. She laughed, and she said, “Well at least you’re honest.”

I should have fucking walked out the door right then and there, but you know, hindsight.

I had assumed she read my chart which very clearly says Alcohol Use Disorder and has my time at CeDAR noted. But she didn’t. And, she didn’t know what CeDAR was. I told her I volunteered there and explained that it was an addiction treatment center. She asked, “Oh! Are you a therapist?”

So you know how we all lie to our doctor about how much we drink? Turns out, it’s probably a good idea. Honesty, in this scenario, does not pay, and laughter, in this scenario is not the best medicine.