Most people in recovery are not only recovering from substance misuse, but also from trauma. But what happened to me today? I will never, ever unsee. I am completely traumatized.
I realize being vulnerable and admitting this to the world will bring on judgments of all sorts, but I feel I have to be honest and put it out there.
My mother is 89 living alone in a fairly decent sized house in central Massachusetts. She has dementia and, as a result, lost the house cleaner that she had for several years and didn’t replace her. That was about three years ago. I don’t stay at her house anymore because all I can see is dirt everywhere. It’s New England and there a mildewy smell emanating from the walls. But when I did, I stayed in the red room, which holds all of my furniture from growing up. So, if we do the math, it’s furniture that is 50 years old. It’s just icky, and I don’t feel good when I stay there.
Nevertheless, I was going to spend the night there to make her happy. When I walked into “my” room there was a god awful stench. I followed my nose and I searched and searched.
You ready? Take a deep breath.
I pulled back the covers on the bed and there was a DEAD SQUIRREL in my bed! I screamed, my mother came in and saw it and said, “Oh, that’s where the mouse went.”
The rest of the morning was spent running out to Walmart to buy $200 worth of cleaning supplies, new bedding and candles, followed by a frenzy of throwing things away and cleaning while my mother calmly watched.
I just woke up from a trauma-induced nap and I’m trying to figure out a good reason not to drink as I have two more days here. Dunkin’ Donuts, here I come.
I am still figuring out how to respond to comments on here, so I hope you all get this! Just, thank you for your support during this trying time. 😂
As my pendant says, Gam Zeh Ya’avor, This too shall pass.
That is traumatizing and you handled it! Good for you. You can get through anything!! Call anytime if you need and remember your support system. You have set yourself up with incredible support. xxoxoxo
Oh. No. That makes me cringe.I’m sorry. Maybe we should be thankful your mom stayed calm? Ugh. Time for focused yoga or a good book??
Big hugs, dementia is so hard. Your not alone! I open up the cubbords at good Ole vine and they are filled with mouse droppings. My pops leaves the box of crackers open on the floor to catch the mice because the 67 sticky traps on the floor aren’t doing the job. Well what you can see of the tax paper prepperarion (2021, he is way late) and food wrappers cluttered on the floor. I decide to go into his office to pay some bills and the smell of dog pee is blind siding and it’s the room that gets the most light. His couch….lets just say I take a towel or blanket to sit on while I’m there. I do hope that you can get your mom some help. My dad barely let’s me help. He doesn’t like it and I have to do it anyway. It’s a very odd place to be. My dad hasn’t showered or taken a bath in who knows how long. I can’t even imagine his reaction when I send someone over to help him with this need. How do you drag someone to the dr who doesn’t want to go? Has your mom officially been diagnosed? Oh goodness gracious Jean sending prayers your way!
Jean…that’s so intense and unbelievable . Hang in there.
Jean you are so loved and I can related to a lot of what you shared. The dead squirrel. No. Just no. Sending you all my love. Go get frozen coffee. They are the best and when you return we will meet for dinner. My treat. Xo
Apparently she lives in harmony with rodents.
Oh, Jean. I’m sorry. That is traumatizing! Not for your mother, though…