What’s My Name Again?

I wrote all about my problem with procrastination/ avoidance in my first post. But alas, you never saw it because as my first post explained, I deleted it when I was trying to learn this fucking editor. I’d like to revisit that topic now that I have the energy to re-type the post

My friends and I are at that point where we can’t remember names, titles, or really anything having to do with movies we’ve seen, books we’ve read and, in my case, the show that I just spent months binging on. I mean, I’ve been in front of my TV three or four hours a day watching something for months because I can’t stop myself and I’m asked virtually the next day what I’m watching and I have absolutely no idea. It’s embarrassing.

I thought when I got sober this problem would dissipate. It was obvious over the years that I was drunk so I didn’t remember what I watched. Now, at over 2 years sober, I still forget. So what’s the problem? Menopause? Alzheimers? Or is it simply that I’m not paying attention? My only consolation is that I am not alone.

We had friends for dinner the other night and the conversation about what we’re watching ensued. It went something like this.

What are you guys watching?

Well, we’ve been watching that show on Amazon about the detective, what’s her name.

Oh you mean the British one?

No, it’s the one with the Asian woman.

Oh yeah, what’s her name. I know what you’re talking about. Can’t remember the name.

It’s the same with books. Except I don’t read anymore because I can’t get though a page without having to re-read it. So basically I live in this void of spinning images that have no name. So, it’s no wonder I procrastinate tasks and work. I’m terribly distracted.

Meanwhile, I remember things that would blow your mind. My childhood friends’ phone numbers, the compliment I got from someone when I was 20 and to my credit, I pretty much remember everything my friends have told me over the years. They don’t remember they’ve told me, so they start to repeat their story and I have to remind them that they told me. I don’t feel bad about that. It’s a badge of pride considering most days I can’t remember what year it is or even what my name is.

Ah, sobriety. 🙄