People ask me how I am, and I say, “Fine.” I am. I’m always fine. But apparently there is a whole wheel of emotions that I’m supposed to be, and “fine” isn’t one of them. Every time I say, “I’m Fine,” I think about this clip from Steel Magnolias.
The reason I’m broaching this topic today is because I really am fine! Yesterday I wasn’t. Didn’t feel well probably because of all the drinking. Headache and just Uch (pronouned gutterly). Today, I woke up feeling good. Lo and behold I did not drink last night. I wanted to, but I had to get through the night to feel better today. That’s what I did, and I do. I feel better today than I’ve felt in days.
So one would think that would keep me from drinking again tonight, right? We’ll see. No promises.
This wheel contains a plethora of emotions that most of the time, I don’t feel. Sometimes I’m angry or irritated and I deviate from “fine,” but if I’m NOT angry or irritated, then I’m neutral. Why is that? Does everyone else experience lots of emotion? I was supposed to in sobriety, but I didn’t then either. I’m the most FINE person on the planet.
Let’s look at the piece of the pie called, “Happy.” It includes: Joyful, interested, proud, accepted, powerful, peaceful, intimate, optimistic. Liberated, ecstatic, amused, inquisitive, important, confident, respected, fulfilled, courageous, provocative, loving, hopeful, sensitive, playful, open and inspired.
My understanding of emotion is that it is something you feel, and as a stickler for grammar, I take issue with many of these. Interested, optimistic, inquisitive, and inspired to me are states of mind. Not emotions. And intimate? That needs an object, doesn’t it? I can’t say I feel intimate. I am intimate and with whom?
Ask me the question differently. Ask me, “Hi Jean. How’s your state of mind today?”
“Oh, I’m rather confused and illiterate today, thank you very much. You?”
See I’m very in tune with how my brain is functioning. I’m not in tune with how I feel. So don’t bother asking me how I am. The answer will ALWAYS be, “I’m fine, you?”
Subscribing now! Love reading your thoughts about feelings and/or not having feelings. Maybe describing feelings defeats the purpose of just allowing yourself to feel something. Just one thought about feelings. haha.
This is great!
The way I view this wheel is the middle circle is the feeling. The next one is the action. The outer wheel is the end result. This will help me process shit I feel when I’m just fine or can’t describe how or what I feel. I just know I feel alot and it can be overwhelming. This visual will be printed and taped everywhere. I’m gonna fill up my journals to process and heal. You are the inspiration behind my journaling and healing.
Right! Not many people did.
Who grew up actually labeling any emotion but happy??? Not me!
Good one. Love that scene in Steel. I’m trying to refine my emotion-labeling too. It’s not like we grew up with it.
Please subscribe to get email notifications of new posts.